


I Miss You

by satans_husband



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Dean Winchester Goes to Therapy, Dean Winchester Has PTSD, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Depressed Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Punk Dean Winchester, Self-Harm, Self-Harming Dean Winchester, Stoner Castiel (Supernatural), Suicidal Dean Winchester, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Worried Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26957101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satans_husband/pseuds/satans_husband
Summary: READ THE NOTES AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY"His life always seemed quite normal. There never was anything happening that people would describe as exciting or something close. He was a stoner and friends with a punk but that didn’t change the fact that his life always had something boring to it. And there were days he wished something exiting would happen, no matter what but at the same time he hoped for his life to stay the way it was because it seemed quite perfect.What didn’t fit his life where the sounds and smells of the emergency room of the hospital he was currently in."[They more or less were like on of the typical gay couples you could see in college. The ones that didn't follow clichès but nevertheless still did. Life seemed perfect until one action and it's resulting phone call took all of it away with one sentence, "Cas, he attempted suicide."]The title is from the song "I Miss you" by "Blink-182":""I Miss You” is one of Blink-182’s most iconic tracks, it serves as a haunting depiction of the effect depression can have on a relationship and its subsequent fallout."((slow updates cause I'll uploade every chapter right after writing. Byt writing takes its time))
Relationships: Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Jo Harvelle & Dean Winchester
Kudos: 8





	I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!!!!!!!!!  
> THIS WORK DEALS WITH REALLY HEAVY TOPICS LIKE:  
> SUICIDE; SUICIDE TALK; ABUSE; MENTAL ILLNESS; EATING DISORDERS; SELF HARM AND HEAVY DRUG USE  
> IF ANY OF THOSE TOPICS SHOULD BE TRIGGERING; DON'T READ!!!  
> SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO START READING AND REALIZE IT TRIGGERS YOU LATER ON; STOP READING!!!  
> IF YOU STILL WANT A SUMMARY OF WHAT HAPPENS I CAN GIVE YOU ONE:

[Hello there,

The angel from my nightmare

The shadow in the background of the morgue

The unsuspecting victim

Of darkness in the valley]

His life always seemed quite normal. There never was anything happening that people would describe as exciting or something close. He was a stoner and friends with a punk but that didn’t change the fact that his life always had something boring to it. And there were days he wished something exiting would happen, no matter what but at the same time he hoped for his life to stay the way it was because it seemed quite perfect.

What didn’t fit his life where the sounds and smells of the emergency room of the hospital he was currently in. The smell of disinfectant heavy and making him nauseous. He was sitting on a cheap plastic chair in a small waiting area watching the stuff rush into one of the operation rooms to his right. It was quite late at night and there weren’t many people in the waiting area but the few who were looked nervous and beaten down. He probably looked the same.

Sam Winchester called him not ten minutes ago his voice thick with emotions and he jumped right out of bed. He thought he’d meet Sam right in the waiting room but the Winchester hadn’t shown up until now.

“Cas.” Sam sits down next to him, his long, shaggy, brown hair looks like he just got out of bed, though Castiel knows this is not true. He must’ve been up for quite some time now. The seventeen year old lets his head fall forward which leads to his hair falling over his eyes making them invisible for Cas.

“He-” Sam’s voice is raspy and he stops. “He- fuck.” the Winchester starts shaking and Cas can tell he must be crying. “Sam, the doctor will-” “He tried to fucking kill himself, Cas. He-” Sam seems to completely fall into himself so Cas hugs the seventeen year old close to his body, tears now gathering in his eyes aswell. He can’t tell if they’re from anger, disappointment or jut plain sadness, but dares not to let them fall. Sam needs him.

“I-I found him on the bathroom floor, he- he was lying in his- I’m sorry I should’ve done something Cas. I- I should’ve known.” Sam cries and buries his face in the palm of his hands and Cas can’t do anything but try to sooth the younger one by rubbing small circles on his back.

“You couldn’t have known Sam. There was no way you could’ve. I mean it.” he can feel Sam nod a little and lean a little closer into the hug.

“Family of Dean Winchester.” a male doctor appears in the waiting area and Sam jumps up instantly.” “Yeah, how is he?” the seventeen year old stumbles over the words, nervousness kicking out the sadness he felt only a second before.” “I am Doctor Smith. You must be Sam Winchester, right?” Sam nods and the doctors gaze lands on Castiel. “Who are you? Are you related?” “No.” Cas shakes his head a little. “I’m Castiel Novak, boyfriend of Dean. Sam called me.” “Alright. So, your brother Sam, he’s through with surgery. We managed to pump the drugs out of his system and we stitched him back up. He had some blood loss but you calling the emergency that fast saved him from further complications. Since you mentioned that this was a suicide attempt,” the doctor stops and Cas can see Sam swallow visibly. “Dean will be put under seventy-two hour suicide watch. After that he can decide if he wants to stay here for therapy or if he prefers going back home. I will tell him all this at a decent time tomorrow. I think this will only upset him more tonight.” Castiel and Sam nod and the doctor smiles sympathetically.

“Is it possible that we can see him now?” Cas asks since Sam seems a little overwhelmed himself. “Yes, that’s possible. I’ll allow you to to stay the night. But only this one, and under one condition: no heavy talk tonight. If he decides to start a heavy topic, fine. But give him rest, he really needs it.” Sam and Cas nod and the doctor smiles a little. “Good. One last question and then you both can go see Dean. Sam, is there anyone else I have to notify tonight?” “No, there’s no rush. I’ll do that in the morning.” Cas intervenes and Sam nods before they are led to Dean’s room by a black haired nurse.

“Dean? Sam and Castiel are here.” her voice is soft and soothing and her smile seems generous. “Just push the button if you need help.” She leaves and Sam and Cas are left in a huge hospital room.

Deans bed is right under a huge window and the guy lying in there doesn’t resemble the Dean Cas had sex with half a day ago. His skin seems dull and as pale as the white hospital sheets of the bed.

“Dee?” Sam whispers and shuffles closer to the bed. The older Winchester slowly opens his eyes and attempts a smile which looks more like a grimace. “Heya Sammy.” Sam sits down on the bed and hugs his older brother, looking like he’ll never let him go again.

“I’m sorry, Sammy.” Dean whispers and pats his little brother’s back before he looks up at Cas. “Le’ me greet my boyfriend kiddo.” he smiles a little and Sam makes some space for Cas.

The Novak wants to kiss Dean, show him how much he loves him but his sadness turned into anger so he just keeps standing at the door. “Cas-” “No.” he shuts the Winchester up and scans his boyfriends body, or at least what’s not hidden from the sheets.

Dean’s eyes look dull and there are dark circles under them. Cas eyes roam over the Winchesters arms until they stop at the white and thick bandages around Dean’s wrists. They seem clinical and at the same time horrifying.

“You could’ve said something.” Castiel whispers and takes a few steps closer to Dean’s bed. The older Winchester just shakes his head. “What was I supposed to say Cassie? Hey, man I wanna off myself but don’t worry?” his voice is thick with sarcasm and it makes Cas angry.

“I-” he starts but cuts himself off when he realizes he’s been yelling. “I care about you Dean. I love you. Of course I would’ve worried but we could’ve figured out something together.” he sits onto the bed right next to Dean and takes his hand.

“What if there was nothing to figure out?” Dean sounds so vulnerable and small which replaces Cas’ anger with a cloud of sadness, tears starting to roll down his cheeks.

“Maybe we would’ve found something you wouldn’t have to go this far.” “Don’t pity me Castiel. Don’t do this. I don’t need pity or something like that. I am very well aware of what I did and I wish I would’ve succeeded.” “Don’t say that Dean. Just don’t.” “Great, first you want me talking and now that I am you can’t bear to hear the fucked up truth. I am sorry that you love me. I am sorry that I probably hurt you but yes, Cas, I very much wanna die!”

The Novak instantly left the room and the hospital after Dean’s revelation. He knew it, of course he did because it was more than obvious but hearing it right from Dean was worse than getting kicked in the balls. It hurt, it hurt way too much. He couldn’t even describe the pain he was in. He had a headache from thinking so he wandered around the quiet and dark parking lot. There weren’t many people around in the middle of the night which was good.

Castiel found a dark and mostly hidden spot, sat onto the paved ground of the parking lot, pulled a joint out of one of the pockets of his beloved Trenchcoat – Dean usually mocked him for wearing it literally all the time – he lit the joint and inhaled deeply.

He already felt better, lighter. Pot always made him feel better. He knows he’s probalby addicted by now but he agreed with himself that there definitely are worse things than being addicted to pot. There’s always something worse.

“Cas.” he can hear Sam’s voice right when the younger brother sits down next to him. He wasn’t paying enough attention. He should’ve been more careful.

“Cas! I asked you if I could get a pull.” “Sure.” he just hands Sam the joint, not really thinking about it.

“You shouldn’t have left Dean alone. He shouldn’t be alone.” the Novak mumbled, not looking at the Winchester. He only spared him a glance when he saw movement out of the corner of his eyes and accepted back the joint.

“He fell asleep. And the nurse told me to get some fresh air and look after you. She was right you’re really not looking good.” “I’m alright Sam, I’m not the one we should worry about at the moment.” “Cas. I know this shit affects you, like a lot. And I know you need someone to listen sometimes. And I know that it’s usually Dean who listens but since he can’t right now I’m here.” Cas nods a little and is about to say something when Sam interrupts. “Don’t treat me like a kid. I know I’m not an official grown up, but with that asshole of a dad I think I’m more grown up than some twenty year old.” Cas just nods again.

Since the joint is finished he gets up, throws the last part of it on the ground, waiting for it to completely turn into ash.

“I think we should get back to Dean’s room.” Cas says and starts walking back to the hospital entry when he realizes that Sam isn’t following and stops. “Sam? What is it?” “I- I have to go back home. Dad doesn’t know. And he can’t find out.” Sam whispers, tears in his eyes. “Cas, promise me you don’t get angry on Dean during the next few days alright? I’ll try to come by as often as possible but I can’t promise.” the seventeen year old was full on sobbing now and Castiel just pulls him into a tight hug.

“I’m not gonna upset your brother any further. And you promise me to not upset John. And if you need anything, just call me. But Sam,” he can feel the Winchester nod. “I’ll have to talk to Dean about him- about what happened.” “Just don’t do it tonight.” Sam half pleads and the Novak assures him that he’ll be careful. “Text me when you’re home, and drive safe.” “I will, thanks Cas.”

He slowly opens the huge door to Dean’s hospital room and shuffles inside. It looks like the Winchester is asleep but he isn’t a hundred percent sure. “Dean, you awake?” he moves closer to the bed and sees Dean opening one eye. “Nah, totally asleep Cassie.” he smirks and the Novak has to hold back a laugh.

Even though he is still angry he can feel some kind of happiness take over and it makes him, well, happy.

“Perfect, gonna let you sleep then.” he moves over to a cheap plastic chair and is about to sit down when Dean speaks up again.

“Why don’t we share the bed?” his voice seems deeper, but it could also just be tiredness. It always made Dean’s voice unbelievable deep, raspy and of course, sexy.

“If that’s alright with you?” “I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t right? No need to treat me like some broken whatever.” “I am just concerned Dean, that’s all.” Cas chokes out.

All of this was just tearing at his mental health. He never was the healthiest guy on the planet but he never really had problems with anything, not even his mental health. Which was something he learned to praise throughout the years. He watched a lot of his old classmates fall into the deep dark of depression, he watched Dean slip into major depression. He was and is still glad that he didn’t. Glad that he is somewhat able to help Dean. Until now.

The Winchester holds up his blanket, a sign for Cas to crawl under it next to his boyfriend.

After lying down he just snuggles close against Dean’s chest and breathes in the well known and loved scent of him.

“I’m just really lost, Dean. I really wanna help you, I want you to get better and all that but I don’t know how to help you. I’m not sure if I can anymore.” Tears started rolling down Cas’ cheeks again and he presses his face into the crook of Dean’s neck.

“Cas, I’m trying alright. What I said earlier, about me wanting to die. I don’t. Really, I mean it, I don’t want to die. And at the same time I want to because I don’t wanna live anymore, at least now like this. Not with all that shit up here,” he points at his head and closes his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath before he continues.

“I- Cas, I don’t need you to understand. You probably don’t and I’m fucking glad that you don’t but- please don’t hate me now, you know how much I love you. I do. But- thing is, there’s no joy for me in this world anymore. Not in watching Sammy grow up and become himself, not in college, not in driving the Impala, not in listening to music and- fuck. Not even our relationship brings me joy anymore. I don’t- I just- I, I can live without the joy in everything, but you, my boyfriend, the guy I really fucking love not bringing me joy anymore that’s a new kind of fucked up.”

The Winchester finishes and Castiel lifts his head to look at Dean. He is staring at the ceiling, eyes a dazed and watery.

“Dean,” he rasps and swallows once, twice. “I might not be able to relate to you, but after you told me of your diagnosis I read some things and tried to understand. And it really hurts me when you talk like this but I can’t blame you, I don’t have the right to do it and I don’t want to. There are ways to get better, therapy-” “I ain’t gonna see a shrink Cas. Not gonna happen.” “You’d rather throw away everything than have someone help you work through your past?”

“I’m tired, lets get some sleep.” Dean finishes and Cas can’t do anything against it. He can’t pressure Dean more than he already did. And to be completely honest he is really tired himself.

“I love you.” the Novak whispers and gets a small kiss with a mumbled, “love you too.” as a reply.

Both men get woken up by a loud beeping coming from another room and while Dean just groans tiredly an annoyed Castiel rolls out of bed and makes his way to small bathroom at one of the corners of the hospital room. “Where you going?” Dean asks while Cas turns on the light in the bathroom.

“I really need a shower.” he answers and Dean just nods before he closes his eyes again, falling back into a light sleep.

When the Novak steps back out of the bathroom he finds the Winchester standing in front of the rather huge window and looking outside. They’re on the first floor and have view over the hospital’s garden. A few people are walking around some are just sitting on the benches installed all over the small garden. It’s not raining but the sun isn’t shining either, coloring the world in a grayish tone.

“Dean?” Castiel slowly walks closer to the window and stops right next to Dean. The Winchester doesn’t answer which makes Cas look at him.

Dean is staring at one of the trees in the garden, not blinking and eyes looking like he’s somewhere far away.

“Dean.” the Novak tries a little harsher but nothing happens. He cups Dean’s cheeks between his hands and turns his head so the Winchester is looking directly at him.

“Dean, wherever you are right now, it’s not real, you have to snap out of it.” with hope he looks directly at his boyfriend but nothing changed. “Dean! Snap the fuck out of it!” Cas half yells and slaps the Winchester who stumbles back at the pain radiating through his cheek.

“What the fuck Cas.” he sits down on his bed still holding his stinging cheek. “You had a flashback I think.” Castiel sits down next to Dean and looks at him. “Sorry for punching you.” “I wouldn’t call that a punch, you can do better.” Dean grins, “True.” Cas admits and laughs a little.

“Wanna talk about it?” “No.” “Alright. Just say so if you need someone to listen.” the Novak adds, trying not to sound too disappointed and Dean nods, knowing that he’ll probably never will come back to it.

They sit in comfortable silence until the door opens and the doctor steps through it.

“Good morning, slept well?” both men nod and the doctor sits down in the plastic chair Castiel opted to sleep in a few hours earlier.

“I’m doctor Smith, I’m the guy who stitched you back up. Anyway I talked to your brother and friend here last night, and I’m gonna tell you the same now.”  
“You might have realized that you get a little dizzy when getting up but it’s nothing bad or so. Your physical health will be back to somewhat normal in two or three days. What worries me is your mental health.” “I’m perfectly fine doc.” Dean throws in and the doctor smiles sadly.

“I think we have some different opinions on that. You know why you’re here Mr. Winchester, don’t you?” “Call me Dean, otherwise I’ll feel really old.” “Alright Dean. Want to answer me?” “You some kind of shrink?” “No Dean, I’m not a therapist.”Doctor Smith stresses the word therapist and looks right at Dean.

“I’m good. Nothing to worry. Had some bad day but I feel fine, really. Can I go now?” “No, Dean. You’ll be here for another two nights. You are under seventy-two hour suicide watch.”

“C’mon I’m awesome, doc. Really. I have college to get back to.” “I think that will have to wait Dean. I hate to break it to you but you are here because of a suicide attempt. I am allowed and supposed to put you under suicide watch. And you can either make the next seventy-two hours really hard on yourself and be placed in a mental health facility after, or you work with me and get to decide whether you want to go to a mental health facility or continue therapy from home.”  
The Winchester stays silent and stares at his feet hanging of one side of the bed. The doctor waits a little and when it’s obvious that Dean won’t say anything he continues.

“You won’t here much from me the next days since besides checking you stitches there isn’t much to do for me. But I’ll introduce you to hour therapist in a few minutes and you’ll be spending a lot of time with her. Alright?” It wasn’t really a question since Dean really had no choice but he nodded anyways.

“Good. She’ll be here in two. While she’s talking to you might I steal your friend and talk about paper stuff with him?” “Sure.” Dean answers, sounding really tired and beaten down.

“I’m right back.” Castiel assures Dean, gives him a short kiss before he leaves the room with Doctor Smith.

“Alright, why don’t we sit down here.” the doctor points at a small room with a chair and two chairs on each side on it. “Sure.” Castiel nods and follows the doctor inside. Both of them sit down and the Novak leans forward a little.

“Alright. This is just some kind of check up. Dean has been here years ago for therapy so he more or less knows how things run around here.” “What?” he never knew Dean went here for therapy. He knew about his diagnoses so he must’ve been to therapy at some point in his life but the Winchester never told him anything else.

“He told you, didn’t he? He told me he did.” “I knew about his diagnoses, yes.” “Good. Now some check ups.”

“Is he still taking his prescribed pills?” “I think so, at least he always took them when he was with me. Couldn’t you just ask him that?” “Would he be honest with me if he didn’t?” “Probably not.” the doctor nods and writes something down.

“Do you think his depression and PTSD got worse over the past months?” “No, I don’t think so, but he’s good at hiding it so I usually can’t really tell.” the doctor nods again and takes a look at the papers in his hand.

“Alright, there’s not much more I’m allowed to ask you without Dean’s consent so just a few general questions.”

“Did his adress change?” “No.” “And he must be twenty-one right?” “Yeah.” “Good. You can go to the waiting area and I’ll get you as soon as Dean and Miss Vallens are through with their session alright?” “Sure.”

“And Castiel?” the doctor asks right when he is about to leave the room. “Yes?” “No heavy topics the few days. Just try to get him to relax. I know he doesn’t want to be forced into the mental health facility but I’ll have to if he’s not cooperating. So try to concentrate in lighting him up and leave the heavy stuff for his sessions with Miss Vallens. He’ll have two of them today and tomorrow and a last one in two days.” “I can do that.” the Novak just says before he goes back to the waiting area to wait and contact Sam with the news.

“ _Cas? How’s Dean doing?”_ “He’s okay, I guess. I don’t know he’s not talking to me besides trying to convince me that he’s perfectly fine.” _“Yeah, that definitely sounds like him.”_ he could hear Sam chuckle a little before he goes back to being serious. _“Dad doesn’t know, I think you should take him to yours after. At least until he’s a little better. He’s better off at yours anyways.”_ “Yeah. I’ll tell him. The therapist is with him at the moment.” _“He agreed to see one?”_ “He has no other choice Sam. Either see one and work with them for a few days or stay here way longer. And we both know he doesn’t want to stay here longer than necessary.” _“True. Look I promised I’d visit Jess now, but tell Dean to just call me, alright?”_ “Sure, I’ll do that. See you.” Cas hangs up and just pretends to keep looking at his phone. There’s nothing else to do than wait.

“Hey Castiel.” he looks up and right at Ellen. She’s somewhat like a second mother for both the Winchesters, helping where she can. “Everything alright?” “Yeah, just- just waiting. Has Sam told you?” Ellen nods sadly and sits down next to the Novak.

“Do you need to talk?” she asks after a minute of silence. “I don’t know. Not really I guess.” he stares at the ground but can see Ellen nod from the corner of his eyes. “Just tell me when you need someone to listen or need some advice.” Castiel nods and looks up a little.

“Just difficult, you know? All this. I never thought Dean would-” “Yeah. I hate to break it to you Cas but I think it was just a matter of time. I know he doesn’t talk and all that but we all know how much weight the boy’s carrying around.” Cas just nods and observes the entrance of the hospital watching people enter and leave, it’s kind of soothing.

“Do you wanna go to the Roadhouse and get some decent food?” he shakes is head. He can’t leave Dean. He can’t do that to him, not right now. Ellen doesn’t pry, doesn’t say anything else. And he is glad she doesn’t.

When they are allowed to enter Dean’s room he’s standing in front of the window again, tear streaks lining his cheeks.

“Dean?” Ellen asks and he turns around, takes two large steps and pulls her into a tight hug. Something you don’t see him do all days. “Hey.” his voice is weak and raspy and he pulls her even closer, if that’s possible. “Thanks for coming. Sam called you?” the Winchester asks as he pulls away and Ellen nods.

“Jo would’ve come too but someone has to look after the Roadhouse.” “No, it’s fine I don’t want everyone to know. She doesn’t, does she?” he looks scared but Ellen shakes her head. “Didn’t tell her. It’s your decision.” the Winchester nods and sits down.

“Could- could I talk to Cas, alone?” he doesn’t look at her but she just nods and leaves.

“Dean?” Castiel sits down next to his boyfriend who started crying silently. “I- She, she said I should stay here and start therapy. I know I’m fucked up, man. No need to tell me. But I really, really don’t wanna stay here. It’s not gonna get better if I do, I know that. At least I think that I know that.” silent tears are still running down his cheeks but he doesn’t have the strength to wipe them away. It doesn’t really matter anyway.

“You know how I think about this Dean. I think that a stay here would really help you. But at the same time I know that it won’t as long as you’re not okay with it. No one can help you when you don’t wanna get better yourself. Do you wanna get better?” “Yes.” “Sure?” Dean looks down for a second and slowly shakes his head. “Please don’t hate me for this. But- I, I don’t know.” “That’s alright Dean. I know- well, I don’t know, I believe that I know how difficult this is and I neither hate nor blame you. It’s your decision but I want you to know that I’ll be here, no matter what you do or how you decide. I will be here Dean.” the Winchester nods, lets himself fall against the Novak and buries his face in the crook of Castiels neck.

“I love you.” “I love you too.”

“ _Cas, he- he attempted suicide. You have to- you have to come to the hospital, he- I don’t”_ -

“Cas! Wake up.” he sits up and nearly gives Dean a headbutt. “Sorry.” he mumbles and lets himself fall back onto the not so comfortable hospital bed. “What time is it?” “Dunno, somewhen around noon I think. Anyway I’m allowed to leave. My therpapist gave me a number for some shrink guy I should call, so I’ll call him in a day or so.” Castiel just nods and closes his eyes for a second before he finally gets up completely.

“Did she say anything else?” “Like a third diagnose? Kinda. She suspects that I might have some case of anxiety but since we only had five sessions she can’t tell a hundred percent. Which is why she recommended me-” he looks at a piece of paper in his hands, “Chuck Shurley.” “Will you call him?” “Of course-” “Dean!” “I don’t know. I’m kinda fine. I think.” “Yeah sure.” Cas sounds sarcastic and the Winchester sighs before he grabs the duffel-bag Sam brought him a day before.

“I’m allowed to leave. Why stay longer than necessary?” “True.” Castiel whispers and they head outside to get into the Impala and drive off to Castiels.

“What do you wanna eat.” “I don’t care, just something nice. The food in the hospital was horrible. You couldn’t even call that food. Like how the fuck are people supposed to get better if you can’t even eat that shit.” “Dean!” Cas tries to sound angry but he can’t suppress a laugh. Dean was right but he tries not to shame on the hospital’s food since he’s not sure his will be much better. “If you want nice food you should cook Dean. I really can’t cook.” “You do. I’ve been eating your food for a few years now and it’s perfectly fine.” Castiel shakes his head but just keeps quiet.

“Did you get the meds the therapist prescribed you?” “Yeah. I mean they are a lot-” “They’re just two bottles. The exact same amount you had to take before the incident too.” “Two bottles too much.” Dean whispers and disappears into the bathroom. The Novak listens for the sound of the lock but smiles softly when he can’t hear one.

They agreed that they don’t lock the bathroom when Dean started getting worse so they were not too many worries and Cas is glad to find out that this rule must still count.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was Chapter 1 (Obviously) Anyway it'd be nice if you could leave a comment and tell me if you like the general idea if this ff. :)


End file.
